It happens to me at least once a year and usually lasts 3-4 weeks. My symptoms include sudden sneezing, a throat so sore it hurts to swallow, head pain that feels like it might explode, and a constant pins-and-needles sensation in my hair due to a low-grade fever. I am in my third week of sickness, but this time, I learned a harsh reality that I feel compelled to share regarding an industry that prioritizes the care of others over oneself.
Though I anticipated getting sick, it took a week of laryngitis for me to realize my illness was partly my fault because I ignored the symptoms of a weakened immune system. My work schedule doubled from 40 hours a week to 80 as I tried to juggle work and produce a free webinar while maintaining my Board positions, networking schedule, and weekly group meetings. Convinced that it was the only way to fit it all in, I woke up at 5:30 am every morning, which is unusual for me. Additionally, I love working out in the morning, but early work meetings prevented me from going to the gym, disrupting my standard routine.
My voice slowly returned after three doctor visits, a round of antibiotics, and two steroid treatments. However, it took longer than it should have because I didn’t follow the doctor’s orders to rest my voice. We follow orders regarding our patients daily, but shame and guilt ensue when we become the patient. The doctor advised vocal rest, but that’s difficult when everyone around you needs something from you, bringing on the shame of not being enough. I could have called in sick, but I never did. The guilt of missing a day when I could have been the difference is too much to bear.
During a Monday meeting, a client introduced me by saying, “This is Angie with XYZ, and she shows up no matter how bad she feels.” It was meant as a compliment, but was it? I started thinking about why I felt compelled to show up sick and unable to speak. Part of it comes from being raised on a farm where calling in sick wasn’t an option—chores needed to be done regardless. But I realized another reason: healthcare professionals are often chastised for calling in sick by those around them and themselves.
In hospitals, calling in sick becomes a strike against you with a system where too many points result in dismissal. Leaders often tell us we cannot be sick because our patients depend on us. As a nurse and a social worker, I’ve shown up to work more than once, wearing a surgical mask and hiding Kleenex stuffed up my nose. I’ve even seen doctors in the ER working with an IV bag attached to them. In healthcare, we’re expected to show up sick to care for others, but we’re never praised for taking care of ourselves first.
Working in healthcare is an excellent opportunity to model good health to our patients, but it also requires that we take care of ourselves first. It is a complex cycle to break when leaders and others around you preach the opposite, but it is a cycle that needs to be broken nonetheless. —I didn’t complete my webinar this month but haven’t given up. It’s rescheduled for June. Whether it happens or not, I’ve decided to prioritize my health to advocate for other healthcare professionals to do the same.